Beyond the binary: Self growth and community

Beyond the binary: Self growth and community

Transness is not always binary. As a non binary trans masc, I feel more comfortable being perceived and treated as masculine, but I reject gender norms and cannot fit in any binary view of gender. It took me a very long time to feel comfortable enough in my masculinity before I could let it coexist with what is socially considered as ‘feminine’. With time, I came to embrace the reality that my gender is not defined by how I look but by what makes me feel validated in my identity. I now still feel valid in my masculinity even if I present more fem, because I feel more secure in my own self.

“My gender is not defined by how I look but by what makes me feel validated in my identity.”

As a trans masc person, one of the biggest challenges that I still face in my personal growth is to not repeat the toxic masculinity that is omnipresent in the patriarchal society we live in. Most masculine figures in my life had a toxic relationship to their masculinity, which extended to their femininity that they often outright rejected. I believe that as a trans masc person, it is my responsibility to dismantle the harmful ideas around gender perpetuated by and that in turn perpetuate the patriarchal system we have all been victims of. I do my best to deconstruct my relationship to my own gender in a way that is decolonial and critical in order to be able to exist as a whole being that furthers our struggles, rather than be a caricature of what the system defines what a ‘man’ should be.

“As a trans masc, it is my responsibility to not reproduce the patriarchy.”

This self awareness and commitment to growth would never have been possible without my community, and especially fems around me whose critical insights on masculinity have allowed me to face the toxicity I was reproducing by affirming the masculinity I was exposed to in a patriarchal society. Masculinity does not have to be toxic. As a trans masc, it is my responsibility to not reproduce the patriarchy.

The support of others in the community in this self growth journey has shown me countless times that we cannot be fractured as a community as our diversity is what allows us to grow, both individually and as a community. This goes beyond only the queer community. My wish for the queer community in Mauritius is that we are able to reach outward and build solidarity with others.

Anonymous